all gone

we are still together in my heart and in my mind.
i feel like it is you who has just cut cleanly all your emotions
and ties from me. Like your trying to get away as unhurt as possible
but dont you know you dont have to leave, dont you know its good here with me
and we can change and change together to make it better.
dont you know how its killing me, how im dying more and more each moment your not with me
how i feel your wings withdrawn from around me
how i feel your fire that fueled me dying out
how i feel the toughness of your scales receding from my arms.
i feel like i am running after you,i can't quite catch up.
your flying so very high and my paws are flying across the ground as fast as they can go
im angry and growling but tears roll down my muzzle too
and no matter how i try to convince you, no matter how much love and devotion i have to you and for you
you do not stop, you do not land. you fly far and fast until not even your shadow is visible.
so i sit, and i howl and my heart is broken and burned
my soul is ripped asunder and i am a mere husk of who i was
i smile and laugh, i eat and dress and clothe myself
I do what is expected and say and do the right things
i am mechanical. just so people will leave me alone in my grief
in my pain and anguish and suffering.
all of my beliefs are stripped away, all the goodness that was inside of me
all the innocents and naivety its all gone. sucked away and replaced with fear and doubt and loathing and hostility and hate.
hate for people in general, specific people anger.. complete self loathing...we are all dead. we are just waiting to realize that we are....