She felt the change coming on. The fast pulse, rapid breathing. There was a tightening in her stomach and it felt like all her nerves were on fire. She wiped the tears away, the smallness fading and in its place powerful lean muscles, an armor of fur and fangs. She blinked several times, her brain adjusting to the shift. This form freed her of small. It freed her of her humanity. Leaving only the beast behind. The cunning, loyal, ruthless creature. Her golden eyes, scanning the darkness. She shook her massive body, easily recognizable as a Royal Wolf. Four times as large, and 10 times the intellect. She sniffed the air, taking in the night smells. The pain that the woman felt was further away now. Lost underneath the centuries of instinct, evolution and the need to survive.
Life was easier in this form. As an apex predator she pretty much topped the food chain. Aside from humans, the occasional encounter with other Royal beasts, she was queen of the land. She held her head higher, felt more sure of herself and leaned into her experiences and knowledge with conviction. She flexed her toes and felt the earth beneath them. She felt closer to the Goddess in this form. The smells and sights of so much nature, melds into her soul and she can feel the divine.
Taking no direction in particular she placed one paw in front of the other. With each passing mile, her woman felt smaller and more quiet. The pain waned into a dull ache and the spectacular joy of simply running and being took hold of her. Sometimes the wolf and woman can be of like minds. Melded if you would. Night running was one of those times when the minds melded easily.
It was these moments the woman was so grateful for, when she could remember who she was. Before she was anything else, she was Wolf. Her primary incarnation has always been wolf, but with the passing of time and the loss of magic, this was the only time she felt really at home within herself.
The run was long, vigorous but welcomed. The exercise cleared her mind, rejuvenated her body, and after she cooled herself her thoughts drifted to the cause of the pain. She laid her ears back, the male could be a pain. She rolled her eyes and instead decided a hunt was in order.
Silently she scanned the area. Even in such a large form she was nimble and agile. Hardly a twig snapped or a leaf rustle. She had traveled some ways to find the small family of deer. They grazed. She crouched low, her belly almost to the ground. Keeping herself upwind, she stopped a few yards from them, stilling with the hunters calm. The doe lifted her head. Some other sense sent a shiver up her spine. -predator- it warned. She looked around, her nose wiggling incessantly as she tried to scent the intruder.
The wolf held her breath, watching the doe look for her. The doe turned her head this way and that. Left, right, left, right... the wolf suddenly burst into action. Dodging trees and shrubs, closing space with the doe in the blink of an eye. The other sounded the call and began to scramble. But the doe was transfixed, she quivered and shook, her mind and instincts screaming run, flee, live, but her eyes unable to break their stare.
The wolf loved this even more than running. Feeling her strength, her muscles and ligaments. She was power. Primal. Leathal. She crashed into the doe. Her weight knocking it over and her teeth latching onto it's throat. Her claws flexed and dug into the side of the doe and then her canines found their mark. The main neck artery severed, the life faded from the does eyes. Momentarily her mind thanked the doe, then she kicked the blood that pooled around the wound.
The meat was hot, savory and juicy. She ate until there was little left but a skeleton, some fur, and carrion fodder. Her belly sated, she quenched her thirst from a nearby creek and scanned the skies.
How long ago did she fly the sky? How long ago did she look for the giant shadow above the clouds and her heart beat with joy. In this form, that was the only thing that ever made her feel small. Wearily she shook her head. Thinking of such things did no one any good. What's done is done and there's no undoing.
She meandered her way back to the small root covered den and curled up inside. She knew she should shift and go to bed as a woman, but the pain was still there, and the anger, so instead she closed her eyes, inhaled the moist earth smell and went to sleep. Armored in her Wolf.
