Release Me

Release me from this pain and torture.
Release me from the torment of waiting and hoping.
Release me from the sleepless nights and days.
Release me from the past and the present.

I can't breathe, I can't feel. All I can do is wish, wonder and hate.
I can't see the sun, or the moon I can only feel the icy fire of my failure.
Love was supposed to be all encompassing, it was surrendering yourself, taking pieces of yourself and trading with that one you love. It was give and take, compromise and promise.
I can't understand, I can't feel, I don't know what is real.

Release me from this love,
Release me from this pain.
Release me from this want and need.
Release me from myself....

old friernds

I hate running into people from forever ago. I hate them asking how I've been, what I've been up to how's married life. Only to tell them and see the pity flash across their face. I hate hearing people say I'm "better off" or wow you've changed. I hate feeling the judgement they pass. It only reopens the wound of failure. You don't know me any more. I move through life meeting so few friends but many what I call acquaintances of opportunity. I was conveniently your friend for classes, jobs but if you ain't in my life right now there is a reason I "lost touch" and no this isn't directed at anyone on my friends list here. I'm just annoyed. I don't like telling "how I've been" no one wants to hear hey my marriage failed, I filled bankruptcy, I was crazy and treated by a team of psych specialists. My family was on suicide watch for over a year and now I'm technically mentally/emotionally disabled but I'm on great meds! So if you don't really want to hear don't ask. Don't make me feel like I have to make something up to spare your feelings. Don't make me relive all those thoughts and feelings under your pitiful stare. You don't know me. You don't really want to know me. Your just doing the socially acceptable thing of "catching up".