My Grave

So tired, of everything. if you look for me and do not find me, i have gone. gone to weep and dream beside my grave. for in this life i have been a slave. a slave to love and passion, to life itself, living for the sake of living, wanting just to want something, anything that made me happy and accomplished. but now my love and dreams are gone, hopes and wants and life dashed away cauterized from me. i am left burned and forgotten, uncared for, unwanted, denied the only thing i ever truly wanted from life. My best friend, lover and soul/sole mate. pain and hurt and emotional starvation have made me weak, tired, exhausted, so if you look for me and do not find me, I have gone, gone to weep beside my grave.

Madness

one night
where there is no light
when earth is asleep
and the sky weeps
my heart will no longer beat
my chest will no longer rise and fall with breath
I will have slipped into death
death where pain is nothing
death where there is no suffering
when i am gone dont cry for me
when i am gone i will be free.
free from hurt
free from sadness
free from this madness
madness called love.

Empty

my heart burns for you
my soul yearns for you
the pain swirling inside me
its slowly killing me
each day without you is torture
each moment gets harder and harder to breath in
i think of the things i have done and im ashamed
i think of the hurt i have done and i know i am to blame
the years we spent together were the best of my life
each laugh, each tear every minute meant something to me
the sadness inside me is so deep
the chasm left by your absence is so dark
the heartache is physical pain
your smile was my light
your blue eyes were my universe
your touch was my sun
and your kiss was what breathed life into me each day
I am lost, abandoned...alone.
what is left of my pack calls to me,
i haven't the heart to tell them that i am empty
that i have nothing left to give
that i am hallow.
I walk alone, half truths and half lies
creating shadows on my path
I am a tornado.
All I know is pain, loss...grief.
Every smile makes me think of you,
every song, even a breeze makes me think of you.
Its like fire in my veins not being able to talk to you
feeling the electric sting of your refusal, your unwant.
am i broken, am i unworthy, what is wrong with me that made you leave
what if anything does she have to offer that i cannot, have not given you...
Why dont you reach out and make the effort to stand with me,
to fight for me, for you, for us...
I am clawing to get to you and with each step I take
you fly further away...
I gave you everything, I gave it willingly
For I love you. No pain is too great
to feel your love...
but how can you be so cool, so seemingly unfeeling.
so turned off from me...
there is very little of me left..
I kept nothing for myself...
and now. I dont know how to be how to live how to survive.
the pack keeps me breathing...
but I want you..
I want you in my life,
I want to be your moon for you are my sun
I want to be your breath for you are mine
I want to be what I always thought I was...your Luv.